For the first 20 years of my life, I did everything I could to avoid being called a “chink.” You see, we were the only Asian family in the neighborhood. From the 19600’s and up until the 80’s, Smyrna was really “the boonies.”  Even the local newscasters mispronounced our town name. We shopped at the Winn-Dixie grocery, ate at Fat Boy’s Fried Chicken, fished at Cooper Lake and saw the same dentist.

All I wanted was to fit in, to be “all-American,” to be blond and buxom and popular. Like many other girls, I could relate to Margaret in Judy Blume books. I wore blush to liven up my hopelessly pale cheeks and desperately curled and permed my flat, straight-as-an-arrow hair. I wore a bra even though I really didn’t need one and I didn’t get eyeglasses when I really did need them. I tried not to speak Chinese in public. To no surprise, I wasn’t very successful at being un-Chinese. Seeing old pictures, I did succeed in looking like a Chinese Cocker Spaniel!

Given the popularity of Asian fashion and food today, it’s hard to imagine the stark contrast and homogeneity of our world back then. And kids and teenagers were, well, kids and teenagers. So even though I spoke with a Southern drawl, loved chicken potpies and wore Nikes, I still stuck out like a “foreigner.” Folks complimented me on my English, asked me where I was really from when I said I was born in Atlanta and one time, I was called to the principal’s office to help translate for a Japanese visitor.

The ugly stuff – name calling, taunting, mostly from strangers—scarred me. Later, as an adult, I still held my breath when a school bus or joyriding teenagers drove by. As I became an adult, the comments gradually shifted from ‘chink” to “foxy Oriental lady” so who says things haven’t changed? Fortunately, most of my classmates knew me from first grade, I had compassionate teachers, a circle of smart, sweet girlfriends and a few ponytail-pulling jock friends.

As the only Asian kid in school, everyone thought I was “good at math” and “cute like a Chinadoll.” Not a bad thing, except that I excelled more in Language Arts and Social Studies, almost blew up the chemistry lab and loved  competitive sports.  Breaking another stereotype, I also asked a guy to the junior prom, but was turned down. I went anyway with a 25 year-old stud from Venezuela—a friend of the family.  I did get good grades but never had a date or a kiss before college! My fantasy was to have someone “have a crush on me” or “to go (steady) with a boy.” (When I told my mom, she asked, “Go where?”) For better or worse, I had to wait until college…

Recently, with a mixture of apprehension and anticipation, I made a last minute decision to attend my 20th high school reunion. The decision surprised my sisters and me. “I thought you didn’t like high school?”  True, I had graduated and never looked back.  Those  four hours changed my life!

The occasion was exciting and surreal. Except for one or two girlfriends, I had not seen anyone since high school. Most arrived with their spouses or friends; I went by myself. Many of the guys who were “hot” were not anymore. The geeks turned into hunks and I hardly recognized others. My small circle of girlfriends looked radiant with their partners; the guys flirted with me and I found common ground with classmates I barely knew. Later that night, I overheard one of them say, “When did Natalie get so hot??” Serious or not, hearing that made my evening! Actually, it made my year. I had finally come full circle and been redeemed for all those dateless years!

Maybe it wasn’t so much high school that I disliked.  Maybe it was me who I disliked. The environment was so different then—Asian food and culture was not popular or trendy– and I was different inside. My looks or my hobbies haven’t changed that much since high school. What changed was inside – more confidence, more passion and acceptance – for who I was.

Things have changed dramatically in the last 40 years, especially around Atlanta. The growth of ethnic business corridors, the Latino population and diversification of the Asian community have transformed our social, economic and political landscape. I now speak Chinese as much as possible and teach Chinese cooking classes! I am also putting together our Chinese-American family documentary, writing a book and  started a new business with my mother, Chinese Southern Belle, LLC, which uses uses food as a medium for cross-cultural entertaining, learning and shopping!