Instead of sweating it out in a crowded parking lot or lawn to celebrate July 4th, I was invited by a friend to visit Haralson, Georgia, a former gin as in “cotton gin” town in Coweta County, about 60 miles southwest of Atlanta. We enjoyed ice cream, watermelon, picked blackberries around the old jail, met the neighbors and saw the town parade (2 police cars, 2 tractors and a hay bale wagon). It was a refreshing escape from the big city crowds and traffic and a reminder of our Southern roots. How many places in town can you play kick ball in the street anymore?

Pearl’s Seedless Watermelon Theory: How to Deal With the Inconvenience of Raising Children in a World of Convenience

Watching my son spit out bites of watermelon while seeds remained in his mouth made me realize I had made a costly error in judgment.  I should have bought the watermelon labeled, “Crammed Full of Seeds” instead of the seedless one.

But alas, now, many seedless melon years later have me looking at a pile of sweet melon on the ground and a very unhappy and frustrated son with a mouthful of seeds standing in front of me.  Who the heck doesn’t know how to spit out seeds?   And, why does he look like he’s about to cry?  No one cries over watermelon!

Randomly speaking, seedless fruit causes the same problems as, say, trophies-for-all, no “F” report cards, fileted headless boneless fish, air conditioning, endless hot water, and  bug-less indoor playgrounds.  They all make my job as a mother just that much harder.

One goal I have is for my children to go to the outside world and experience it as a vastly easier, more convenient, more fascinating, more just, more delicious, more appreciative, immensely fairer, and a far gentler place to live in than their home, and not vice versa.

In other words, start off in the back of the room — the very, very back… not the front.

Make your kids eat what you cook, do their share of chores, reconcile fights they didn’t start, drink room temp tap water, share when there’s not enough, offer first to others, don’t take last piece, thank others often, don’t whine, forgive others but do the time for the crime if you’re wrong, do more not less, don’t compare what you have, apologize for unintended hurts, re-use towels, air dry hands, eat leftovers, wear clothes more than once, don’t use disposables at home, don’t ask for gifts, grant favors often but only ask for one in an emergency, expect no credit for good deeds, but accept blame for  bad ones, and know with absolute certainty  that others will sometimes forget your birthday.

Remember, the seedless watermelon is what you want to end up with, not with what you start.  Otherwise, you might end up with a mouthful of seeds, a cry face on, and looking at all the goodness on the ground that you just spit out.

Remains of whole pike fish

In my family, we love bones, heads, pits and skin—in our food, that is. We grew up and as kids, were officially and non-voluntarily trained to eat “whole foods” early on – whole fish, whole shrimp with head and skin, whole watermelon seeds.

Don’t get me wrong—I don’t eat all animal parts or all animals and still get queasy seeing some “parts.”  I don’t consider myself very tongue-skilled compared to my Chinese elders who are especially adept at quickly and cleanly extracting the meat from the encasing without a mess.  And I enjoy plenty of dishes where my taste buds, rather than my tongue, are getting a workout.

I concede that it’s much easier to hold a conversation or pay attention when you’re not spitting out bits and pieces of indigestible food particles out of your mouth or having to keep your oratory sensors on alert to catch potentially deadly, but usually, simply uncomfortable fish bones before swallowing. What appears normal at the dinner table with Chinese folks can be an unpalatable (or even an impolite) scene with unaccustomed guests!

There were other peculiar food preferences. We always had dark meat, preferred the smaller female crabs at the market and fought over who got to suck the mango pit. I don’t remember ever eating boneless chicken. I remember other fishermen giving us their less desirable fish (“too bony”) and my parents being excited about the bonus. Cultural, health and economic factors seemed to explain some of the differences.

Historically in China, eating meat was a luxury and being selective or wasteful about certain animal parts was unthinkable. Bone soups and stews were considered healthier and more nutritious, not to mention richer in flavor. Enjoying whole cooked fish was a gourmet dish, a symbol of good luck and prosperity and the fish head was reserved for the guest of honor!

Noodles are traditionally served on birthdays because they symbolize long life (chang shou). So don’t break your noodles when you boil them! My favorite is my mom’s Chinese Chili Spaghetti (featured at the Dunwoody Chili Cookoff).

In celebration of long life noodle birthdays,  here are my favorite noodle highlights:

• Fresh ramen noodle soup at Umaido Japanese noodle shop (Korean-owned) in Suwanee and Yakitori Grill in Smyrna (great photos and helpful review by FoodieBuddha)
• Noodle fun with the kids at my Chinese Hotpot party with friends and going overboard with 5 different kinds of noodles.  Everyone was so full, they couldn’t finish the noodles, served as part the hotpot closing ceremony.
• Eating at a new Korean noodle house in Duluth with a non-English-speaking server and haplessly trying to figure out which noodles were cold, hot, dry or wet (soupy), with meat or no meat.  I learned that Korean “buckwheat noodles” are not the same as soba/Japanese buckwheat noodles. Meanwhile, I see my dad “washing” his kimchi in a glass of water to take off the hot chili edge. I laugh at him, but then adopt the practice myself.  The food was good!
• The Oodles of Noodles overview of our Asian Market Tours– 3 whole aisles of noodles!
• Watching the Noodle Master make homemade noodles by hand–no pasta machine –at Man Chun Hong (thanks to Atlanta Ethnic Foods Examiner) in Seoul Plaza on Buford Highway. Even as I’m watching him, it still amazes me how the lump of dough is transformed into long, skinny threads of noodles, in a matter of seconds!
• Seeing a three year-old baby slurp up our Chinese Chili Spaghetti and clamoring for more and more. The kid had good taste (or was starving), perhaps both!
• Serving noodles made from tofu at our Cook’s Warehouse class, a first for everyone!
• Learning that a 4,000 year-old bowl of noodles (millet) was discovered in northwestern China in 2006

Celebrate your birthdays (or any day) with noodles and slurp and twirl your way to long life!

For the first 20 years of my life, I did everything I could to avoid being called a “chink.” You see, we were the only Asian family in the neighborhood. In the 1970’s and even 80’s, Smyrna was really “the boonies.”  Even the local newscasters mispronounced our town name. We shopped at the Winn-Dixie grocery, ate at Fat Boy’s Fried Chicken, fished at Cooper Lake and saw the same dentist.