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Happy Birthday to Me!
As the story goes, my mom went into labor and had to drive herself and my non-English speaking grandma to fetch my dad at the park. He was playing football and jumped in the car covered in mud and wearing cleats. I was born that night at 10pm. Since everyone predicted that I was going to be a boy, my Chinese name means “in the heart, a brother.”
Being a holiday baby has always provoked interesting reactions. Most fall into one of two camps–those who thought it was great and those who thought it was terrible! I always liked it because my family would overcompensate with gifts and a homemade birthday cake (courtesy of my sister who was the only baker in the house). I guess they felt bad since I often got 1 for 2-fer gifts, couldn’t invite friends over for a birthday party and it was an easy date to forget.
My special day was always a family affair and that was fine with me. Of course now, as an enlightened, progressive, non-materialistic, eco-friendly, solstice-celebrating adult who eschews the over-commercialization of the season, gifts aren’t THAT important (unless it came from the Patagonia or REI store…) 
After the divorce and the growth of extended families, it’s been hard to get everyone together. Those were tough milestones at first–shuttling between parents, sisters moving out of town and out of country, the first Christmas away from Atlanta. But Christmas was a special holiday, not because we were Christians, but because it was my birthday and I always came home for my birthday.
Now, for the first time in 15 years, I was home for the holidays to celebrate a milestone birthday, not as a visitor, but as a resident. Ironically, it felt like a non-event. Both my sisters and my dad would not be here and my mom and I were not sure how we would spend Christmas until yesterday. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for myself, even though I knew I was one of the luckiest people on the planet. Where was my family on Christmas? I couldn’t just call a friend to go out, everything was closed. What was going on?
Let’s see, last week I celebrated the Winter Solstice with 30 new friends. Tonight, I added an uncle, aunt, four cousins and 4 “new” nieces and nephews. On Christmas Day, my mom’s best friend will be hosting a dinner for us. The next day, we will visit with another aunt, uncle, cousin and 2 new nieces, all of whom I haven’t seen in over a decade. In addition to the local events, we were welcomed to join several out of town celebrations.
The usual suspects weren’t here, but my circle of family and friends was growing. Yes, this year my birthday will be different. In years past, my family celebrated me and my homecoming. Now that I live in Atlanta, the best reason to celebrate was local! The birthday wish had been granted and now it was time to re-connect and create a new circle!
